Monday, July 10, 2023
2012 Warrior Games cyclists show the spirit of Team Navy/Coast Guard
Tuesday, March 2, 2021
THE UNCERTAINITY OF HUMANNESS
Hey Ozzie:
Thoughts of you flowed through my mind today. It had me philosophically examining the complexity of humanity. Our human frailties, that more times than not we fall short while navigating our world through unfiltered lens fogged up by generational traumas. By childhood misunderstood slights closeted in our bodies and minds that arises as defenses, our soft spots because as children we had not yet learned to see the world beyond black and white. How we missed the shades of grey and didn’t even know there was a kaleidoscope awaiting discovery to let us know everything would be alright, because our minds lack discretion, not yet fully developed into plausible reasoning. How we emerged into adulthood cleaving to our juvenile hurts, our souls a bit tattered. How our bruised egos front and center falsely convinced us that somehow we are flawed beyond repair and woefully inadequate. How we hadn’t learnt how to forgive our parents their humanness who were at times not cognisant that their own inherited hurts bleed into their parenting; because we hadn’t yet learnt healthy ways to sooth ourselves, to realize our excellence, to work through our hurts, not comprehending exactly how to put things in its proper context, to align perspectives and express ourselves in ways that is not hurtful to others.
I have learnt
many things thus far and its super crazy and kind of frightening to comprehend finally,
that the accountability starts with self, regardless of whom planted the seeds
of hurt. Isn’t that a swift kick in the teeth, when all we really want to do it
rail in self-righteous indignation. Instead, we must take responsibility for
unpacking all that shit because we are worthy and entitled to offload all that
mess so we can bloom unapologetically. To understand that fear, anger, sadness,
disappointment cannot take the lead and we cannot cloak ourselves in it if we
hope to rise, because the unsureness of how to heal the Self with care,
kindness and empathy can and will open wounds in others in our orbit.
That’s it. That is what I was thinking
about or rambling depending on your take. A lot, I know right! Kind of like one
of our groove conversations when we did talk. Sorry I took so long to check in.
I really don’t have any excuses, though I could give you a thousand. The simply
truth is, I just wasn’t feeling it and I am nothing if not authentic. So I’ll
show up when its real, when am feeling it. I’ll leave the fake stuff for the birds.
On Angel Duty:
6 years, 10 days.
72 months, 10 days.
314 weeks and 4 days
2202 days
52,848 hours
3,170,880 minutes
190,252,800 seconds
603.29% of a common year (365 days)
Friday, October 23, 2020
THE UNPREDICTABILITY OF LIFE
Hey Ossie:
I woke up with thoughts of you on my mind. Thinking about the unpredictability of life and how we as children growing up, never truly gave thought to how we will die. We believed ourselves invincible. Our own death was never a factor even while we were experiencing the loss of loved ones. Though we felt it. Though we grieved. It never truly registered. I guess that is the resiliency of children. God's way of protecting us when we are children against the hash reality of our human frailty.
You were so courageous in your LIVING inspite of dire diagnosis and raging battle. I don't pretend to know what it was like for you. I don't pretend to understand what the emotionally or psychologically price were as a result of the lived experience. I only know your courage that allowed you to wake up everyday and move through the world determinantly, because frankly it couldn't be anything else.
Today for the first time I am feeling the true depth of the loss of tantie Jacqueline. I am not sure why today is so special as I've always felt her loss. Today Friday October 23rd 2020, though it seem all encompassing, not sure of it's significance. I only know that I ache in the depths of my being in a way that refute denial. Your mom was special to me. She gave me hope at a time in my life when hopelessness had free reign over my psyche. I live in gratitude for her influence in my life at that time.
I guess I'm ruminating a lot today. We live in such precarious times. We are living through this pandemic of Covid-19. People are dying by the thousands, millions all over the world. It feels like they're dropping like flies. The contagion level is so high but many people are not listening, they're being wilfully defiant and putting many at risk for contagion, sickness and death. The horror of the disease is not contained to what you see in the movies anymore. Covid-19 seems to take people indiscriminately, one can't help but think about their mortality and human fragility.
Alright, I end my soliloquy here.
Take care. Love π always.
On Angel πΌ Duty since: Feb 21, 2015
5 years, 8 months, 3 days
179,020,800 seconds
2,983,680 minutes
49,728 hours
2072 days
296 weeks
567.67% of a common year (365 days)
Tuesday, May 5, 2020
RELUCTANTLY HERE - TOUCHING BASE
"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." --revelation 21:4Hey Ossie, its been a while since I've created a post, almost 8 months. I have no real excuse except to say just life, choices and navigating the nuances. Times has changed, the world is in a tail spin with this infectious virus COVID 19 pandemic.
On Angel duty since February 21, 2015
5 years, 2 months, 16 days
62 months, 16 days
164,332,800 seconds
2,738,880 minutes
45,648 hours
1902 days
271 weeks and 5 days
521.10% of a common year (365 days)
Aunty on Angel duty since January 17, 2020
3 months, 20 days
9,590,400 seconds
159,840 minutes
2664 hours
111 days
15 weeks and 6 days
30.33% of 2020
Friday, September 20, 2019
TAKE A LESSON FROM NATURE - CHOOSE TO BE RESILIENT
- You are not alone, though at times you may feel that way. Beware that's the trick, to may you feel it's helpless and hopeless.
- You are worthy. You are enough right now in this moment and in every moment that follows.
I take my inspiration from nature - flowers, there continue rebirth every season, the sun and it infinite determined resilience that burst through the clouds everyday single day without fail, no matter what. It's hues displaying spectacularly. It reminds me each day is another opportunity to shift, to create something different, to renew and to live. It reminds me that God is watching and that every new rise is the epiphany of hope.
Keep the faith and like air, continue to rise.
1672 days
238 weeks and 6 days
40,128 hours
2,407,680 minutes
144,460,800 seconds
458.08% of a common year (365 days)