"ELEVEN YEARS - IN CONVERSATION

ELEVEN YEARS... QUE SERA, SERA

Life has a certain kind of nerve, Ossie.

It hasn’t paused for you, the provocateur—the agent for change. It hasn’t slowed down since you stopped writing about the "Spirit" and the "Uncertainty" of being human. It just keeps recording, adding pages to a book you aren’t here to read.

Eleven years.

That’s a long time to be taught how to live with your absence. I’ve become an expert at it now, though the silence feels different than it used to. We were never terribly close in the everyday sense; months would pass between our conversations. But when we did speak, it was for hours—a deep exchange that made the distance irrelevant.

I still think about you in the Warrior Games, representing Team Navy and the Coast Guard. Stage 4 Nasopharyngeal cancer was attacking the base of your brain, but you were still out there on that bike, pedalling through the thick of the battle. It was your therapy. And when the weakness threatened to pull you back, your brothers ensured you crossed that line. They carried you when you couldn’t carry yourself.

The ache is doubled because I know you’ve got your mama there with you now. Tantie Jacqueline was part of my foundation; she gave me hope when hopelessness had free reign over my psyche. I think about how close she and my mama were—the two of them, the oldest and the next in line, left to navigate the world when their own mother died young. Your mama was only 15 and mine just 10 when they lost her, forced to survive my grandfather’s ways together.

That bond never broke. Sure, life interrupted, disrupted, sidelined, and interfered, but it didn't deal a death blow. Like a willow tree, it stood the test of time and all that life had to throw at it. My mom was there every day, talking for hours before heading to her own shift in the hospital. She’s 82 now, but at 75, she was still right there in the wards while people dropped like flies.

When your mama took her final bow, your sister was the one right there by her side. They were incredible together—like butter on toast. I’m just grateful your mama was spared that isolated "new reality" and had that kind of love with her at the end.

There’s no chaser for this reality, Ossie. No honey to mellow the bitter taste of these years.

Your son is a man now, eighteen or nineteen, walking in a world of his own. It’s a bitter dose to swallow—that a man who was an agent for change, a man raised by a woman of such indomitable hope, has a legacy that exists in the quiet.

I just keep the light on here, witnessing the march and remembering you and your mama. You both understood that the spirit has to keep pedalling, even when the finish line is out of sight.

The record is still open, but for now, I’m just living with the habit of you not being here.

Que sera, sera.
Sera, sera.

On Angel Duty:

11 years, 2 months, 9 days, 20 hours, 32 minutes

4085 days, 20 hours, 32 minutes

353,017,953 seconds

5,883,632 minutes

98,060 hours

4085 days

583 weeks

1119.18% of a common year (365 days)

LIFE MARCHES NO AND KEEPS ON RECORD

Hey Ossie: 

I was thinking about you today, 39 days from the anniversary of your passing. The passage of time seems to fly unapologetically by keeping no record of the path of you, but we do. Every single one of us whose lives you've touched in one way or another. It’s been over a decade since you've transitioned to another plain leaving us all here feeling the stain your absence left. The harsh reality is Life marches on, for kings and queens, rich and poor, wicked and kind, wasting no time, not pausing for the cause or even pity, it keeps no record. Ah, but we, we keep record, though life demands that we move on, and we shuffle our feet reluctant but moving. It is not that we cannot live without you, it is that we didn't want to. It is that we are forced to whether we like it or not, our feelings matter little, its inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. Like water sifting through sand under your feet we move on regardless, despite ourselves, we live, we thrive, we laugh, we cry, staying in gratitude hugging the memory of you to us, it is the best surrender we can abide. There are many who were closer to you than I was, and I carry you with me, so imagine for them. As we gather in family comradery, you're alive again. As we live, so do you, through the experiences we've shared and walked together, the memories-laughter, tears, frustration, and the bane of self-discovery and the challenges of being. I dare say though, the nuances of you, your character has left footprints that the mindful eyes can see and the buoyant spirit can feel. I often wonder, Hmmmm, but I dare not wonder, for I know better than to question, rather, I stay in faith, believing. Missing you always...D. 

On Angel Duty: 

10 years, 1 month, 7 days, 20 hours, 32 minutes, 33 seconds

3688 days, 20 hours, 32 minutes and 33 seconds 

318,717,153 seconds

5,311,952 minutes

88,532 hours 

3688 days

526 weeks

1010.65% of a common year (365 days)

2012 Warrior Games cyclists show the spirit of Team Navy/Coast Guard

Blessings 💞 Ossie. Sitting here just thinking about you. How you and Tantie doing? You'll are really missed. Life now, as it's been, is full of a multitude of Grey's and all the blended in-between kaleidoscopic shades. Navigating it all is a roller coaster of mind numbing exciting exhilaration, knee buckling terror, doubt, hope, faith and anticipation rolled into an explosion of spectacular nauseating inspiration of the unknown. It keeps me in a constant state of gratitude, humility and prayer with a sense of titillating wonder that often catapults me into reflection as a reminder to take nothing for granted. In one of my reflection moments as I scrolled  through the web I happened upon the Wounded Warrior Games articles with you as a featured mentioned. How's that for coincidence? Or is there such a thing as coincidence? 

Here's a question for yah. I've been am wondering, did you get to meet our grandmother Iona yet? 

2012 Warrior Games cyclists show the spirit of Team Navy/Coast Guard: Team Navy/Coast Guard warrior athletes Navy Hospital Corpsman 3rd Class Angelo Anderson (right), team members, and Navy Safe Harbor staff surround retired Navy Aviation Machinist's Mate 2nd Class Oswald Gould (left) providing comfort after a grueling race during the men's two-wheel open race kicking off the 2012 Warrior Games on the first day of competition at U.S. Air Force Academy, Tuesday May 1, 2012. The 35 warrior athletes are participating as Team Navy/Coast Guard, sponsored by Navy Safe Harbor, the Navy and Coast Guard's wounded warrior support program, a key component of the Department of the Navy's 21st Century Sailor and Marine initiative.

HELPING HAND

Navy Petty Officer 3rd Class Angelo Anderson lends a helping hand to retired Navy Petty Officer 2nd Class Oswald Gould during the cycling event at the 2012 Warrior Games in Colorado Springs, Colo., May 1, 2012. Anderson is a hospital corpsman and Gould was an aviation machinist's mate. More than 200 wounded, ill or injured service members from the U.S. and British armed forces are competing in the games, which run until May 5.

ON ANGEL DUTY 👼🏾

THE UNCERTAINITY OF HUMANNESS

 

Hey Ozzie:

Thoughts of you flowed through my mind today. It had me philosophically examining the complexity of humanity. Our human frailties, that more times than not we fall short while navigating our world through unfiltered lens fogged up by generational traumas. By childhood misunderstood slights closeted in our bodies and minds that arises as defenses, our soft spots because as children we had not yet learned to see the world beyond black and white. How we missed the shades of grey and didn’t even know there was a kaleidoscope awaiting discovery to let us know everything would be alright, because  our minds lack discretion, not yet fully developed into plausible reasoning. How we emerged into adulthood cleaving to our juvenile hurts, our souls a bit tattered. How our bruised egos front and center falsely convinced us that somehow we are flawed beyond repair and woefully inadequate. How we hadn’t learnt how to forgive our parents their humanness who were at times not cognisant that their own inherited hurts bleed into their parenting; because we hadn’t yet learnt healthy ways to sooth ourselves, to realize our excellence, to work through our hurts, not comprehending exactly how to put things in its proper context, to align perspectives and express ourselves in ways that is not hurtful to others.

I have learnt many things thus far and its super crazy and kind of frightening to comprehend finally, that the accountability starts with self, regardless of whom planted the seeds of hurt. Isn’t that a swift kick in the teeth, when all we really want to do it rail in self-righteous indignation. Instead, we must take responsibility for unpacking all that shit because we are worthy and entitled to offload all that mess so we can bloom unapologetically. To understand that fear, anger, sadness, disappointment cannot take the lead and we cannot cloak ourselves in it if we hope to rise, because the unsureness of how to heal the Self with care, kindness and empathy can and will open wounds in others in our orbit.  

That’s it. That is what I was thinking about or rambling depending on your take. A lot, I know right! Kind of like one of our groove conversations when we did talk. Sorry I took so long to check in. I really don’t have any excuses, though I could give you a thousand. The simply truth is, I just wasn’t feeling it and I am nothing if not authentic. So I’ll show up when its real, when am feeling it. I’ll leave the fake stuff for the birds.

On Angel Duty:

6 years, 10 days.

72 months, 10 days.

314 weeks and 4 days

2202 days

52,848 hours

3,170,880 minutes

190,252,800 seconds

603.29% of a common year (365 days)

THE UNPREDICTABILITY OF LIFE

Hey Ossie: 

I woke up with thoughts of you on my mind. Thinking about the unpredictability of life and how we as children growing up, never truly gave thought to how we will die. We believed ourselves invincible. Our own death was never a factor even while we were experiencing the loss of loved ones. Though we felt it. Though we grieved. It never truly registered. I guess that is the resiliency of children. God's way of protecting us when we are children against the hash reality of our human frailty. 

You were so courageous in your LIVING inspite of dire diagnosis and raging battle. I don't pretend to know what it was like for you. I don't pretend to understand what the emotionally or psychologically price were as a result of the lived experience. I only know your courage that allowed you to wake up everyday and move through the world determinantly, because frankly it couldn't be anything else.

Today for the first time I am feeling the true depth of the loss of tantie Jacqueline. I am not sure why today is so special as I've always felt her loss. Today Friday October 23rd 2020, though it seem all encompassing, not sure of it's significance. I only know that I ache in the depths of my being in a way that refute denial. Your mom was special to me. She gave me hope at a time in my life when hopelessness had free reign over my psyche. I live in gratitude for her influence in my life at that time. 

I guess I'm ruminating a lot today. We live in such precarious times. We are living through this pandemic of Covid-19. People are dying by the thousands, millions all over the world. It feels like they're dropping like flies. The contagion level is so high but many people are not listening, they're being wilfully defiant and putting many at risk for contagion, sickness and death. The horror of the disease is not contained to what you see in the movies anymore. Covid-19 seems to take people indiscriminately, one can't help but think about their mortality and human fragility.

Alright, I end my soliloquy here.

Take care. Love 💞 always.

On Angel 👼 Duty since: Feb 21, 2015

5 years, 8 months, 3 days

179,020,800 seconds

2,983,680 minutes

49,728 hours

2072 days

296 weeks

567.67% of a common year (365 days)

RELUCTANTLY HERE - TOUCHING BASE

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." --revelation 21:4

Hey Ossie, its been a while since I've created a post, almost 8 months. I have no real excuse except to say just life, choices and navigating the nuances. Times has changed, the world is in a tail spin with this infectious virus COVID 19 pandemic.

I don't think when you were here that you could even imagine a time when the government would legislate our movements and dictate for the most part where we can and cannot go. Oh but perhaps you can as you were military. Though it is in our best interest to adhere and follow its dictate it is but a hard pill to swallow. But, here we are, living it. We, are dealing, all 7.594+ billion of us that dwell on this big blue marble we call earth, navigating the isolation, social distancing and travel restrictions.  Young and old, rich, poor, destitute and homeless all in the same pot dealing with the same fear, loss and paranoia. No privilege offers to any one ethnicity or upper socioeconomic class a special pass. It is one big leveled playing field.

The death toll continues to rise daily. It is estimated that 258,344 people have died so far, It is frighteningly sobering to think there will be thousands more as they have not yet found a cure. Your sister, brother and aunt are all on the front-line doing their part. Your aunt my mama at 75 marches on daily like a warrior. Its a bitter dose of daily reality that I must reluctantly swallow every day that won't allow escape for a moment's peace (the peace you have to steal it.). There is no chaser to make it taste better, no honey to mellow its bitter taste and no disguise to cover its ugly truth.

I know you got your mama there with you now. Aunty took her final bow and while all of us struggled and still struggling to come to terms with the sudden swiftness in which she departed I think now we are grateful in light of what we are all facing. Many families are not able to visit their loves ones in the hospital. They are forced to stay away due to the unforgiving viciousness of the virus. Families cannot say proper goodbyes, cannot attend funerals and perform the rituals of walking down memory lane with stories of remember when, of l I love you goodbyes that brings closure and acceptance as we commensurate with friends and families. It is our new reality.

Amidst the drudgery of following the necessary medical mandate to flatten the curve of the Covid 19 pandemic that has the world in its tentacles I am able to smile. I am able to find pleasure and gratitude in the insane mundane sameness life has become. I can hear you asking, how? How can you find pleasure in the restrictive mundaneness of it all? Smiling, I'd say, "Am here. I am healthy for the most part. I wake up everyday able to help myself. Though I am imperfect and things are far from perfect I am grateful to simply be.

I experience all the fear, worry and uncertainty but I cannot and will not let it swallow me. Amidst the fear there is joy. Amidst the sorrow there is hope. Amidst the sadness there is happiness for my faith is not chased by the bleakness of our current existence but is inspired by who I know God is and what God can and will accomplish. Am I afraid, most certainly. Am I a bit tipsy on paranoia, absolutely. Am I exercising precautions and cautions, without a doubt. However I am also walking through my fear as courageously and as judiciously as I can. I am counting my blessings, haves and celebrating each new day with thanksgiving. I am thankful for each breath I take without assistance and unobstructed. I am steadfastly cultivating my peace of mind and I am constantly in conversation with the Divine Omnipotent. I am embracing humility and waltzing with patience and when it threatens to overwhelm me. I breathe deep to the depths of my being and I let it dissolve quietly on my tongue savoring its taste moment to moment until I can take it day by day. It is not easy but it is doable. 

Well cous as the night tips into the wee hours of the morning and the stillness breathes cool air, I'll end here. Thank you for lending your ear. Take care of Aunty for me but knowing her, she is taking care of you. Let her know I love her and miss her dearly. I love you to, don't get it twisted.

Peace and love always...

Your cousin,

D.S.B.S.Rhapsody Phonenix

On Angel duty since February 21, 2015
5 years, 2 months, 16 days 
62 months, 16 days 
164,332,800 seconds
2,738,880 minutes
45,648 hours
1902 days
271 weeks and 5 days
521.10% of a common year (365 days)

Aunty on Angel duty since January 17, 2020
3 months, 20 days
9,590,400 seconds
159,840 minutes
2664 hours
111 days
15 weeks and 6 days

30.33% of 2020

TAKE A LESSON FROM NATURE - CHOOSE TO BE RESILIENT

Sometimes life can be challenging and situations can become overwhelming to the degree that you just want to throw up your hands and walk away from it all. It is during those times when you're attempting to navigate it all that you need to sit with intention in the midst of it all and breathe. Take slow deliberate soul deep breaths from  your diaphragm, loosen each slowly and reshape your perspective. Remember...

• You are not alone, though at times you may feel that way. Beware that's the trick, to may you feel it's helpless and hopeless.
• You are worthy. You are enough right now in this moment and in every moment that follows.

Do NOT let shame and pride shape or define your behaviour. Set it aside, silence the negative dialogue in your head or it will paralyze and isolate you.  Ask for help. I'll let you in on a well known secret (contradictory I know) NOBODY does it alone! Nobody, we all need a hand up at some point, there is absolutely no shame in that.

I take my inspiration from nature - flowers, there continue rebirth every season,  the sun and it infinite determined resilience that burst through the clouds everyday single day without fail, no matter what. It's hues displaying spectacularly. It reminds me each day is another opportunity to shift, to create something different, to renew and to live. It reminds me that God is watching and that every new rise is the epiphany of hope.

Keep the faith and like air, continue to rise.

On Angel Duty since February 21, 2015
1672 days
238 weeks and 6 days
40,128 hours
2,407,680 minutes
144,460,800 seconds
458.08% of a common year (365 days)

STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE SMALL THINGS

Often we are told “forget the past” as if the lessons in the past are irrelevant, as if there is nothing to be learnt, to be understood, to grow and transform from. The past has value individually and collectively. While it should not be used as a tool to stagnantly ruminate there should be a proactive approach to its deconstruction and examination. It should be examined with a critical eye and critical thinking to assess the good and the objectively abhorrent in order to determine the touch stones of encouragement to build our willful ethos to carry forth triumphantly. This is imperative to maintaining and continually cultivating hope that gets us through, up and over; after all, hope is the key to human’s endurance.

“In his words” ---Stop Worrying
Remembering of past victories/triumphs

The Egyptians were so much stronger than the Canaanites and Israel failed to realize God's infinite power that God delivered them from slavery in Egypt and he could easily handle the Canaanites. So why should we worry about the small things when God has worked much bigger miracles in our lives in the past? Let the past victories remind you that you will come out of this current situation and crossover into the land of Canaan as God promised…---Oswald "Ossie" Gould

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
Oswald Gould | Dec 18, 1972 - Feb 21, 2015

Took his last bow in this world at 43 years old | Gone too soon....
On Angel Duty since February 21, 2015
1222 days 
105,580,800 seconds
1,759,680 minutes
29,328 hours
174 weeks and 4 days
3 years, 4 months, 6 days
334.79% of a common year (365 days)

WHO WILL GET THE CREDIT

Thinking out loud about navigating life, accomplishments & ownership.

Sometimes in the living of life, in navigating the inherent complexities we, the I in us can get overshadowed, buried in worry, anxiety, feelings of helplessness and inadequacy. It is important that we stay rooted in the knowledge God is love, we were created in that love from that love and its prefectness. Thus we must be careful not to allow doubt to plague us as it will erode our confidence and trick our minds into believing we are not enough when in truth we are indeed enough. We are powerful beyond measure because we are of the Father who created us in his own image and likeness leaving his imprint on our heart, minds, bodies, souls and spirits. It important that we do not allow the light of others to diminish our own light by surrendering to envy or jealousy that in the long run only serves to cast doubt upon ourselves preventing us from understanding our own worth and from whom that worthiness stems.

DON'T LET THE EGO MISSILE YOU INTO FALSE NOTIONS OF INFERIORITY BECAUSE THE SPOTLIGHT IS ON SOMEONE ELSE.

Chris Langan has an IQ higher than Albert Einstein's.

Moustafa Ismail has 31-inch biceps and can lift 600 pounds.

Bill Gates is estimated to be worth billions.

Those who have extraordinary abilities or possessions might be tempted to think more highly of themselves than they should. The truth is we don't have to be widely smart, strong, or wealthy to want to take credit for our achievements. Though I dare say any size of accomplishment carries with it this question: Who will get the credit? During a time of judgement, God spoke to the Israelites through the prophet Jeremiah. He said: "Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, let not the mighty man glory in his might, nor let the rich man glory in his richest" (Jeremiah 9:23). Rather,"Let him who glories glory in this, that he understands and knows Me" (Jeremiah 9:24). God wanted His people to prize Him and His excellence above anything else. If we allow praise to inflate our self-image, we're forgetting that "every good gift comes down from the Father" (James 1:17). It's better to give God the glory not only because it protects our hearts from pride but also because He rightfully deserves it. He is God, the One "who does great things marvelous things without number" (Job 5:8). Not I but Christ, be honored, loved, exalted; Not I, but Christ, be seen, be known, be heard; Not I, but Christ, in every look and action; Not I, but Christ, in every though and word. We were created to give God the glory.......

Have a bless and productive day

Oswald Gould, written July 10, 2014

On angel duty since 2015

85,276,800 seconds
1,421,280 minutes
23,688 hours
987 days
141 weeks
2 years, 8 months, 14 days 
270.41% of a common year (365 days)

ONE FOR THE MEN - STOP POLICING HER

This one is for the MEN.........
We’ve all seen, heard about, or experienced this first hand.
A woman and her man are together, she runs into someone she knows and introduces him to her man or she just says hello. When they walk away here he goes with the 100 questions, “Where do you know him from?” Did you ever talk to him” and on and on. 

A 30 minute conversation ensues because a guy said hello and smiled. You can’t get jealous of every man she comes in contact with, the mechanic, the pharmacist, the doctor, the postman, her coworker. Anyone she’s known before you she had plenty of chances to get with him if she wanted to. 

This is not the movie “Time Cop”, you can’t police her past, present, and future. She’s with you because she wants to be with YOU!!!!

Understand your worth and stand confident and strong in that worthiness.

Keep your head up

Some days the challenge is keeping your head up and out of the muck others create. You are well worth the effort. You are that important.Keep your head up.

LOVE | PREPARATION

Love

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” ^{1 Corinthians 13:4-7}

 

Preparation

In the bible 1 Corinthians chapter 13, verses 4 - 7, it tells us about love by defining its characteristics and ethos. Yet many of us, though we read God's definition of love, do not truly comprehend its ordinance as elucidated. Hence we are not prepared. We are unprepared and unsure of how to recognize love, receive or to give love in a way that is affirming, nourishing, enriching and empowering. Outside of our own selfish desires - manipulation, entrapment, coercion and limiting conditions. In order to give love unconditionally and receive true love without suspicion, we owe it to ourselves to be prepared. We must learn and understand what love is and how to recognize it. To distinguish it from its counterfeits.

We are required by God's edict to love one another as He loves us, as such, we need to be prepared. We must learn to discern. We must learn to love by teaching ourselves to understand what love is. To recognize love in its truest form. To receive love and to give love unconditionally. We cannot be afraid to question, to analyze, to study in order to grasp the full scope of what love is. What it means, its significance and its powers.

 

Love

Everyone has a right to love, to receive it, to feel it, to be encompassed by it. Regardless of gender, creed, class, ethnicity, sexuality, culture, religion or identity. No one is exempt from love. Our job is to be prepared. Like a chef is prepared in the kitchen to cook a masterful meal. To a chef the kitchen holds the ingredients required to express the love of cooking.

 “The kitchen of love holds many ingredients for a great meal of love that can last for a lifetime, but you have to be willing to spend considerable time in the kitchen to master the preparation of the meal. Those who prefer to spend all of their time watching sports, playing video games, and hanging out with friends, attending every church program, will never master the art of preparation for this particular meal because it’s imperative that you become thoroughly acquainted with every cooking aide, every spice, every pot and pan, everything in there in order achieve the goal..........Have a bless day” –Oswald (Ossie) Gould | November 27, 2012

He Lived (1972 – 2015)

On Angel Duty:

58,492,800 seconds

974,880 minutes

16,248 hours

677 days

96 weeks and 5 days

185.48% of a common year (365 days) 

YOUR FEELINGS WILL BE HURT

Sometimes the deepest hurts can come from the ones we love the most and is closest to us and yet is sometimes where the most valuable lessons are learnt.

One of the most challenging things in life is navigating through our hurts feelings. Hurts inflicted by others and by the self as a direct consequence of our poor choices and judgments. Yet learning the skill of manoeuvring through our emotional and psychological hurts is essential to our growth and development into whom we are ordained to be as human beings.

“Someone once said that God is not about hurting someone’s feelings. But, we need to be mindful that when we transgress, disobey, and get out of order that God will handle his business concerning us, and, I guarantee you your feelings will be hurt. When our parents “put it on” us because we were disobedient our feelings were hurt but that went along with the punishment for our actions. Our parents did not care about our little feelings when it was time to discipline us for our actions because we were disobedient. Their job was to ensure that we understood right from wrong, action and consequence. God is a God of order. He is a covenant maker and a covenant keeper. When we get out of order we should expect for our little old feelings to be hurt.” ^{Oswald Gould Dec 6, 2012}

I guess some of the big questions should be:

1. How do we shift ourselves in the midst of the pain so that we can get the lessons embedded within?
2. How do we begin to deconstruct it so that we understand its meaning? Because essentially there is where the true self-protection lies.
3. How do we apply it in our lives so that when the cycle of life repeats itself that we recognize the signs and are able to choose differently thereby creating a different outcome and sidestepping the negative consequence and hurt?

On Angel Duty:

48,729,600 seconds

812,160 minutes

13,536 hours

564 days

80 weeks and 4 days

1 year, 6 months, 17 days

154.52% of a common year (365 days)

RULES THAT GOVERN AND GUIDE

In His Words

Growing up in the US, I always thought it interesting that in some countries motorists drive on the left side of the road instead of the right. Then, when I was in England, I heard a London tour guide explain one possible reason for this law:

"In the 1800s, pedestrians as well as horse-and-carriage used the same side of roads. When a carriage was on the right side of the road, a driver's horse whip would sometimes hit a passerby. To remove this hazard, a law was passed requiring all carriages to travel on the left side of the road so the pedestrians could be kept safe."

Just as the rules of the road are for our benefit and protection, so are God's commands because He loves us, He has given them to us for our benefit.

"For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one world, even in this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself'" ^{Galations 5:13-14}

The law i.e. the rule is to love one another as you love yourself, meaning the same standards of governance for the self must be the same you extend to others, to do otherwise is to create enmity and enmity breathes discontent, jealously, envy and malice none of which is fertile ground for love to grow and freedom to reign.

As we apply God's Word to our hearts, let us keep in mind that the God of grace has given us His guidelines to help us grow in our love for Him and our concern for each other. Thy Word is everlasting truth; How pure is every page! That Holy Book shall guide our youth and well support our age. The Bible had treasures of wisdom to mine........

 

Have a bless and productive day

Oswald Gould

April 22, 2014 ·

 

On Angel Duty

43,286,400 seconds

721,440 minutes

12,024 hours

501 days

71 weeks and 4 days

1 year, 4 months, 15 days

137.26% of a common year (365 days)

Stay Strong in Faith and Know Your Enemy

Stay Strong,

Many times in life we feel defeated seemingly beaten by adversaries – soldiers of the one with many names: Beelzebub, Leviathan, Lucifer, Satan, Belial, Devil, Apollon, Antichrist, Abaddon, intent on stealing our souls, our spirit and stearing us away from God. It is for this reason we must know our enemy. We must:

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” ^{1 Peter 5:8}

Arm yourself, do not allow your body, mind, soul and spirit to be devoured. Be armed!

“Therefore take up the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you will be able to stand your ground, and having done everything, to stand.”^{Ephesians 6:13}

I had a friend that told me she discovered a huge snake in her back yard. The snake had just eaten a pretty nice size animal and could not get away, she called a neighbor he quickly came over and killed it.

We all have snakes around us, our enemies, they want to harm us because it is “THEIR NATURE”, it provides nourishment for them, they want to hurt us and get away fast. But there will come a time when they will be so full of their mess, they will not be able to get away and will be exposed...

Have Faith

Keeping watch…have a blessed day, Ossie

On Angel Duty:

• 1 year, 3 months, 9 days
• 464 days
• 66 weeks and 2 days
• 40,089,600 seconds
• 668,160 minutes
• 11,136 hours
• 127.12% of (365 days)

SURRENDER

"When I was a child I often had a toothache and l knew that if I went to my mother she would give me something that would deaden the pain for that night and let me get to sleep. But I did not go to my mother at least not till the pain became very bad I knew she would take me to the dentist the next morning.... I wanted immediate relief from pain, but I could not get it without having my teeth set permanently right." C.S. Lewis from book Mere Christianity.

Like C.S. Lewis, we might not always want to go to God right away when we have a problem or struggling in a certain area. We know that God could provide immediate relief from Our pain however we also know that He is more concerned with dealing with the root of the problem. This causes us to hesitate in fear because we know that God will reveal the issues we are unprepared and unwilling to deal with. It is in times like these when it is helpful to remind ourselves that the Lord "deals with us as with sons" (Hebrews 12:7).

God’s discipline, though perhaps painful, is wise, and His touch is loving. He loves us too much to let us remain as we are; He wants to conform us to the likeness of His Son, Jesus (Romans 8:29).

God's purpose of love can be trusted more than any of our emotions of fear.

Thank you Lord, for showing us our hidden faults, for You treat us as Your dear children. Help us surrender to Your cleansing work till the beauty of Jesus be seen in us.

God's hand of discipline is a hand of love....surrender it all to Him.

Have a blessed and productive week.

Ossie/9.18.14

On Angel Duty

1 year, 1 month, 29 days

115.89% of a common year (365 days)

60 weeks and 3 days

423 days

10,152 hours

609,120 minutes

36,547,200 seconds

The First Anniversary Of Your Death

Dear Ossie:

Today marks one year since your physical presence has left the earth, us, to journey into the other life, to do God’s work on Angel Duty. I imagine you have earned your wings by now. I know your view on us is all compassing now. Now you know all our flaws, our strengths, our weaknesses and you are bearing witness to the diverse ways in which we all grieve your absence from our lives. Your loss hits us all in waves and is as complex and diverse as we are and though we have had a year to adjust to your continual physical absence, the impact of your silence stays with us. 

Mother (Jacqueline) & Son (Ossie)

Auntie Jacqueline she is maneuvering your passing as best as she could, you are/were her baby. There are no words of comfort really as a mother’s grief is bone deep, soul steep and layered, from one breath when we breathe for you nestled in our wombs to two when you make your debut into the physical world. Our bodies instinctively carry the memories of our children infinitely. It is the reason when something happens to our child/children we feel it first in our belly. The ache the pull is such that we clutch it to somehow find relief.  


I check in on her ever so often, we rap and you know me am a talker so I poke around to ensure she’s alright. She’s in Trinidad now staying with George. Yes you read right, George, one of your big brothers, blows your mind right? He is taking good care of her she says.

1st Lieutentant Nov 2015 with George & Glenda

I can’t tell you how your other siblings are dealing as I do not communicate with them, (well, with the exception of one of course - Pat) so sad but so true. I haven’t spoken to Kathleen or Curtis in about 30 years – yes it is true you can pick your jaw up off the floor now. No real reason really, just the passage of time, distance and no real effort on either of our parts to stay in touch. Anthony and Esmond I think about 3 years ago? 

I spoke with George about 3 months when he came in support Pat when she was promoted to First Lieutenant? I hope I got that right, because you know cous will more than set me straight!  She looked so good, cute as all get out. 

Father (Ossie) & Son (Lebron)

The Gould Brothers, Tony, Esmond, Ossie

My cous/your sis is so beautiful, lucky for her she got her good looks from my side of the family. Don’t be rolling your eyes at me mister, you know it’s true, we are gorgeous! She misses you like crazy you know and she checks in often with Lebron. Did you know she and your niece Tennille ran the San Diego's Half Marathon in celebration of your life?

 

1st Lieutenant  P.Gould                                  San Diego's Half Marathon

Speaking of gorgeousness remember when you use to hide behind Tantie Jacqueline from the girls who practically stalked you because you were so handsome? Ha ha sorry, sorry, I shouldn’t laugh but remember Curtis’s wedding; ha I almost peed myself laughing. You were too cute begging Tantie Jacqueline to please hide you. Don’t be embarrassed it is what it is, truth. I know I know I always talk about that but as memories go that is a good one, you have to admit. God took his time molding you. The Divine did such a good job that all the girls had to show their appreciation, again, and again, and again and again. J

Well I guess I better wrap this up huh, you probably got more angel duty to perform and here I am bending your ears and crossing your eyes with my jibber jabber. I bet you didn’t think that I’d be the one to have a blog for you. As you can see most of the entries are your writings through the years, I add my piece here and there but it’s mostly yours. I shouldn’t take all the credit since your sis Pat and I came up with the idea together.


I miss you Ossie, I know we didn’t talk often but when we did we had some good rap sessions. You are loved. You will always be in our thoughts and hearts.

Keep a watch over us.
Smooches, 
your cous D.S.B.S.Rhapsody (yeah, i had to add all the letters, you know me)

On Angel Duty: 

365 days

52 weeks and 1 day

8760 hours

525,600 minutes

31,536,000 seconds

100.00% of a year