RELUCTANTLY HERE - TOUCHING BASE

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." --revelation 21:4

Hey Ossie, its been a while since I've created a post, almost 8 months. I have no real excuse except to say just life, choices and navigating the nuances. Times has changed, the world is in a tail spin with this infectious virus COVID 19 pandemic.

I don't think when you were here that you could even imagine a time when the government would legislate our movements and dictate for the most part where we can and cannot go. Oh but perhaps you can as you were military. Though it is in our best interest to adhere and follow its dictate it is but a hard pill to swallow. But, here we are, living it. We, are dealing, all 7.594+ billion of us that dwell on this big blue marble we call earth, navigating the isolation, social distancing and travel restrictions.  Young and old, rich, poor, destitute and homeless all in the same pot dealing with the same fear, loss and paranoia. No privilege offers to any one ethnicity or upper socioeconomic class a special pass. It is one big leveled playing field.

The death toll continues to rise daily. It is estimated that 258,344 people have died so far, It is frighteningly sobering to think there will be thousands more as they have not yet found a cure. Your sister, brother and aunt are all on the front-line doing their part. Your aunt my mama at 75 marches on daily like a warrior. Its a bitter dose of daily reality that I must reluctantly swallow every day that won't allow escape for a moment's peace (the peace you have to steal it.). There is no chaser to make it taste better, no honey to mellow its bitter taste and no disguise to cover its ugly truth.

I know you got your mama there with you now. Aunty took her final bow and while all of us struggled and still struggling to come to terms with the sudden swiftness in which she departed I think now we are grateful in light of what we are all facing. Many families are not able to visit their loves ones in the hospital. They are forced to stay away due to the unforgiving viciousness of the virus. Families cannot say proper goodbyes, cannot attend funerals and perform the rituals of walking down memory lane with stories of remember when, of l I love you goodbyes that brings closure and acceptance as we commensurate with friends and families. It is our new reality.

Amidst the drudgery of following the necessary medical mandate to flatten the curve of the Covid 19 pandemic that has the world in its tentacles I am able to smile. I am able to find pleasure and gratitude in the insane mundane sameness life has become. I can hear you asking, how? How can you find pleasure in the restrictive mundaneness of it all? Smiling, I'd say, "Am here. I am healthy for the most part. I wake up everyday able to help myself. Though I am imperfect and things are far from perfect I am grateful to simply be.

I experience all the fear, worry and uncertainty but I cannot and will not let it swallow me. Amidst the fear there is joy. Amidst the sorrow there is hope. Amidst the sadness there is happiness for my faith is not chased by the bleakness of our current existence but is inspired by who I know God is and what God can and will accomplish. Am I afraid, most certainly. Am I a bit tipsy on paranoia, absolutely. Am I exercising precautions and cautions, without a doubt. However I am also walking through my fear as courageously and as judiciously as I can. I am counting my blessings, haves and celebrating each new day with thanksgiving. I am thankful for each breath I take without assistance and unobstructed. I am steadfastly cultivating my peace of mind and I am constantly in conversation with the Divine Omnipotent. I am embracing humility and waltzing with patience and when it threatens to overwhelm me. I breathe deep to the depths of my being and I let it dissolve quietly on my tongue savoring its taste moment to moment until I can take it day by day. It is not easy but it is doable. 

Well cous as the night tips into the wee hours of the morning and the stillness breathes cool air, I'll end here. Thank you for lending your ear. Take care of Aunty for me but knowing her, she is taking care of you. Let her know I love her and miss her dearly. I love you to, don't get it twisted.

Peace and love always...

Your cousin,

D.S.B.S.Rhapsody Phonenix

On Angel duty since February 21, 2015
5 years, 2 months, 16 days 
62 months, 16 days 
164,332,800 seconds
2,738,880 minutes
45,648 hours
1902 days
271 weeks and 5 days
521.10% of a common year (365 days)

Aunty on Angel duty since January 17, 2020
3 months, 20 days
9,590,400 seconds
159,840 minutes
2664 hours
111 days
15 weeks and 6 days

30.33% of 2020

TAKE A LESSON FROM NATURE - CHOOSE TO BE RESILIENT

Sometimes life can be challenging and situations can become overwhelming to the degree that you just want to throw up your hands and walk away from it all. It is during those times when you're attempting to navigate it all that you need to sit with intention in the midst of it all and breathe. Take slow deliberate soul deep breaths from  your diaphragm, loosen each slowly and reshape your perspective. Remember...

• You are not alone, though at times you may feel that way. Beware that's the trick, to may you feel it's helpless and hopeless.
• You are worthy. You are enough right now in this moment and in every moment that follows.

Do NOT let shame and pride shape or define your behaviour. Set it aside, silence the negative dialogue in your head or it will paralyze and isolate you.  Ask for help. I'll let you in on a well known secret (contradictory I know) NOBODY does it alone! Nobody, we all need a hand up at some point, there is absolutely no shame in that.

I take my inspiration from nature - flowers, there continue rebirth every season,  the sun and it infinite determined resilience that burst through the clouds everyday single day without fail, no matter what. It's hues displaying spectacularly. It reminds me each day is another opportunity to shift, to create something different, to renew and to live. It reminds me that God is watching and that every new rise is the epiphany of hope.

Keep the faith and like air, continue to rise.

On Angel Duty since February 21, 2015
1672 days
238 weeks and 6 days
40,128 hours
2,407,680 minutes
144,460,800 seconds
458.08% of a common year (365 days)

STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE SMALL THINGS

Often we are told “forget the past” as if the lessons in the past are irrelevant, as if there is nothing to be learnt, to be understood, to grow and transform from. The past has value individually and collectively. While it should not be used as a tool to stagnantly ruminate there should be a proactive approach to its deconstruction and examination. It should be examined with a critical eye and critical thinking to assess the good and the objectively abhorrent in order to determine the touch stones of encouragement to build our willful ethos to carry forth triumphantly. This is imperative to maintaining and continually cultivating hope that gets us through, up and over; after all, hope is the key to human’s endurance.

“In his words” ---Stop Worrying
Remembering of past victories/triumphs

The Egyptians were so much stronger than the Canaanites and Israel failed to realize God's infinite power that God delivered them from slavery in Egypt and he could easily handle the Canaanites. So why should we worry about the small things when God has worked much bigger miracles in our lives in the past? Let the past victories remind you that you will come out of this current situation and crossover into the land of Canaan as God promised…---Oswald "Ossie" Gould

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Oswald Gould | Dec 18, 1972 - Feb 21, 2015

Took his last bow in this world at 43 years old | Gone too soon....
On Angel Duty since February 21, 2015
1222 days 
105,580,800 seconds
1,759,680 minutes
29,328 hours
174 weeks and 4 days
3 years, 4 months, 6 days
334.79% of a common year (365 days)

WHO WILL GET THE CREDIT

Thinking out loud about navigating life, accomplishments & ownership.

Sometimes in the living of life, in navigating the inherent complexities we, the I in us can get overshadowed, buried in worry, anxiety, feelings of helplessness and inadequacy. It is important that we stay rooted in the knowledge God is love, we were created in that love from that love and its prefectness. Thus we must be careful not to allow doubt to plague us as it will erode our confidence and trick our minds into believing we are not enough when in truth we are indeed enough. We are powerful beyond measure because we are of the Father who created us in his own image and likeness leaving his imprint on our heart, minds, bodies, souls and spirits. It important that we do not allow the light of others to diminish our own light by surrendering to envy or jealousy that in the long run only serves to cast doubt upon ourselves preventing us from understanding our own worth and from whom that worthiness stems.

DON'T LET THE EGO MISSILE YOU INTO FALSE NOTIONS OF INFERIORITY BECAUSE THE SPOTLIGHT IS ON SOMEONE ELSE.

Chris Langan has an IQ higher than Albert Einstein's.

Moustafa Ismail has 31-inch biceps and can lift 600 pounds.

Bill Gates is estimated to be worth billions.

Those who have extraordinary abilities or possessions might be tempted to think more highly of themselves than they should. The truth is we don't have to be widely smart, strong, or wealthy to want to take credit for our achievements. Though I dare say any size of accomplishment carries with it this question: Who will get the credit? During a time of judgement, God spoke to the Israelites through the prophet Jeremiah. He said: "Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, let not the mighty man glory in his might, nor let the rich man glory in his richest" (Jeremiah 9:23). Rather,"Let him who glories glory in this, that he understands and knows Me" (Jeremiah 9:24). God wanted His people to prize Him and His excellence above anything else. If we allow praise to inflate our self-image, we're forgetting that "every good gift comes down from the Father" (James 1:17). It's better to give God the glory not only because it protects our hearts from pride but also because He rightfully deserves it. He is God, the One "who does great things marvelous things without number" (Job 5:8). Not I but Christ, be honored, loved, exalted; Not I, but Christ, be seen, be known, be heard; Not I, but Christ, in every look and action; Not I, but Christ, in every though and word. We were created to give God the glory.......

Have a bless and productive day

Oswald Gould, written July 10, 2014

On angel duty since 2015

85,276,800 seconds
1,421,280 minutes
23,688 hours
987 days
141 weeks
2 years, 8 months, 14 days 
270.41% of a common year (365 days)

ONE FOR THE MEN - STOP POLICING HER

This one is for the MEN.........
We’ve all seen, heard about, or experienced this first hand.
A woman and her man are together, she runs into someone she knows and introduces him to her man or she just says hello. When they walk away here he goes with the 100 questions, “Where do you know him from?” Did you ever talk to him” and on and on. 

A 30 minute conversation ensues because a guy said hello and smiled. You can’t get jealous of every man she comes in contact with, the mechanic, the pharmacist, the doctor, the postman, her coworker. Anyone she’s known before you she had plenty of chances to get with him if she wanted to. 

This is not the movie “Time Cop”, you can’t police her past, present, and future. She’s with you because she wants to be with YOU!!!!

Understand your worth and stand confident and strong in that worthiness.