THE UNCERTAINITY OF HUMANNESS

 

Hey Ozzie:

Thoughts of you flowed through my mind today. It had me philosophically examining the complexity of humanity. Our human frailties, that more times than not we fall short while navigating our world through unfiltered lens fogged up by generational traumas. By childhood misunderstood slights closeted in our bodies and minds that arises as defenses, our soft spots because as children we had not yet learned to see the world beyond black and white. How we missed the shades of grey and didn’t even know there was a kaleidoscope awaiting discovery to let us know everything would be alright, because  our minds lack discretion, not yet fully developed into plausible reasoning. How we emerged into adulthood cleaving to our juvenile hurts, our souls a bit tattered. How our bruised egos front and center falsely convinced us that somehow we are flawed beyond repair and woefully inadequate. How we hadn’t learnt how to forgive our parents their humanness who were at times not cognisant that their own inherited hurts bleed into their parenting; because we hadn’t yet learnt healthy ways to sooth ourselves, to realize our excellence, to work through our hurts, not comprehending exactly how to put things in its proper context, to align perspectives and express ourselves in ways that is not hurtful to others.

I have learnt many things thus far and its super crazy and kind of frightening to comprehend finally, that the accountability starts with self, regardless of whom planted the seeds of hurt. Isn’t that a swift kick in the teeth, when all we really want to do it rail in self-righteous indignation. Instead, we must take responsibility for unpacking all that shit because we are worthy and entitled to offload all that mess so we can bloom unapologetically. To understand that fear, anger, sadness, disappointment cannot take the lead and we cannot cloak ourselves in it if we hope to rise, because the unsureness of how to heal the Self with care, kindness and empathy can and will open wounds in others in our orbit.  

That’s it. That is what I was thinking about or rambling depending on your take. A lot, I know right! Kind of like one of our groove conversations when we did talk. Sorry I took so long to check in. I really don’t have any excuses, though I could give you a thousand. The simply truth is, I just wasn’t feeling it and I am nothing if not authentic. So I’ll show up when its real, when am feeling it. I’ll leave the fake stuff for the birds.

On Angel Duty:

6 years, 10 days.

72 months, 10 days.

314 weeks and 4 days

2202 days

52,848 hours

3,170,880 minutes

190,252,800 seconds

603.29% of a common year (365 days)