Hey Ossie:
I woke up with thoughts of you on my mind. Thinking about the unpredictability of life and how we as children growing up, never truly gave thought to how we will die. We believed ourselves invincible. Our own death was never a factor even while we were experiencing the loss of loved ones. Though we felt it. Though we grieved. It never truly registered. I guess that is the resiliency of children. God's way of protecting us when we are children against the hash reality of our human frailty.
You were so courageous in your LIVING inspite of dire diagnosis and raging battle. I don't pretend to know what it was like for you. I don't pretend to understand what the emotionally or psychologically price were as a result of the lived experience. I only know your courage that allowed you to wake up everyday and move through the world determinantly, because frankly it couldn't be anything else.
Today for the first time I am feeling the true depth of the loss of tantie Jacqueline. I am not sure why today is so special as I've always felt her loss. Today Friday October 23rd 2020, though it seem all encompassing, not sure of it's significance. I only know that I ache in the depths of my being in a way that refute denial. Your mom was special to me. She gave me hope at a time in my life when hopelessness had free reign over my psyche. I live in gratitude for her influence in my life at that time.
I guess I'm ruminating a lot today. We live in such precarious times. We are living through this pandemic of Covid-19. People are dying by the thousands, millions all over the world. It feels like they're dropping like flies. The contagion level is so high but many people are not listening, they're being wilfully defiant and putting many at risk for contagion, sickness and death. The horror of the disease is not contained to what you see in the movies anymore. Covid-19 seems to take people indiscriminately, one can't help but think about their mortality and human fragility.
Alright, I end my soliloquy here.
Take care. Love 💞 always.
On Angel 👼 Duty since: Feb 21, 2015
5 years, 8 months, 3 days
179,020,800 seconds
2,983,680 minutes
49,728 hours
2072 days
296 weeks
567.67% of a common year (365 days)
